Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A whole lot of Hackas

I have never seen so much stuff go into a van.
After an easy night admiring Bowie's package in Labyrinth, we sloathed into Hot Mama's about midday on monday to re-pack the gear. For the South Island we had two tour vans, for the North Island we needed to squeeze everything into one. I was dreading this would be a time where someone would get flighty about having to leave a sock behind. Pats on bums to everyone invloved, the van is packed to literal breaking point. More on that later.
The rest of that day was pretty much themed on cricket. We headed back to Nelson and went down to the park with a few beers, some snacks, and a cricket set provided by Seedy's brother Pete (who was also providing accomodation for the night). It was great to run around in the sun after hiding inside in Dunedin for the two weeks prior to tour. I got stuck in 13 year old Andy mode and starting smashing 6's without thought as to how much fun the other guys were having. I soon lost the ball. Hack bomb. Game over. After a short stint of classic catches we headed home to find a feast instore.

Metz had whipped up one hell of a curry, and I smashed the shit out of it. Cheers Metua. We now had to figure out how to watch the cricket without sky, so I started to check out somewhere on the web to stream it. I somehow got hypnotised by an ad saying "STREAM CHAMPIONS TROPHY FINAL LIVE" and ended up giving money to a site that is pretty much a search engine for illegal video streams. Sucker punch hack bomb. Anyway we eventually found a reasonable stream but the cricket turned out to be pretty shite. The Black-Caps batted like the Carisbrook Dunedin U12's.

Waking up at 9am after the cricket was a bit gross, but it happened in a merry haze of tour numbness. We got in the Caravan and proceeded to Quogan's girlfriend's parent's place to pick up the younger Hampton and head to Picton. We pretty much arrived on time at the ferry, but hacked one as we got asked to drive on but had about 3 guys still taking a piss at the public toilets down the queue. A few guys in high vis vests were on the case and had it all sussed. We were soon on the ferry and sorted out our gear for the show in the Karori Rip Bar. We had an hour to kill, and spent some of it chatting to some high school girls from Nelson on their way to bass hunter. Lets just say I'm 24 and I felt like a seedy old man.

Once we were out of the sounds things started getting buzzy. "We would like to inform all passengers that conditions in the strait today are...not favourable.". The boys had started playing a set and 4m swells began smashing shit around. Callum was getting thrown all over the show, and Seedy ended up on his back. The harbour was far calmer and Wellington sped by like sonic the hedgehog. State highway 1 was closed due to snow so we had to go north via Ohakune. We had a quick stop at Seedy's Aunty and Uncle's place. They made us some bangin mince on toast, peas and all. Fuck it was good. Somewhere out of Taupo things started to smell a bit like cummy butt so I knew we were close to our destination. At 1.30am we sifted out of the van and hunkered down at the Hampo's Auntie's place, just out of Rotorua. Thanks for the bed's Andy and Gene. What an amazing place. They have a free range chicken island. On to the Hacka of all Hackas.
This afternoon we were making our way to Auckland to spend the night at Dan Cox's place. About 12km from Tirau the van started to sway occasionally, we put it down to the gusty winds. 1km later the Van swerves violently a couple of times, Callum instinctively slows down a touch, and then BANG!!!! Chaos. Hack Bomb. The left rear wheel had decided touring sucks and dettached itself from the van. Hampo somehow avoided any other vehicles and guides the van on to a grass verge where I called AA and we wait for help.
I had to describe the damage to the AA lady on the phone and it seemed grim. Two of the wheel nut studs had broken off and the others were all fucked, I was starting to get anxious we wouldn't even to get to Auckland for our Red Bull session tomorrow.

When Brian from AA turned up and flicked the van on the back of his truck I breathed a sigh of relief. Brian seemed pretty confident he could fix our wheel in a jiffy. He whipped the van, and all its contents (including the band) back to Tirau, jacked it up and banged in a few new wheels studs. I can't thank Brian enough for the quick work he did and for his positive attitude. We ended up losing only two hours and got all the way to Jo and Justin's place, just in time for the lasagne to come out of the oven. What a feed!!!!! Thanks to the Cox's for putting us up and managing to ensure only two of us have to top and tail tonight!

A T Biff

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